Storm Repair: Why Being Wrong is So Right

178535656It’s early morning in Barcelona, my last day. I am sitting here in a cozy cafe and the rains are relentless.

Springtime often brings storms. Rain and wind stir up our worlds, and by the time it all passes, we’re often left stumbling around, disheveled and windblown, trying to clean up the downed branches and broken bits.

How many of us create storms in our relationships and then refuse to clean up? A couple? A few? More like 99.999%! Unresolved conflicts can result in resentments, and do damage to our relationships. Did you ever notice in this reality, we’d often rather be right than be happy?

If this sounds familiar, here’s a tip for you.

The willingness to be wrong is a great way to eliminate the conflict in your life. I don’t mean the willingness to be a victim as in how come I am always wrong. More like, I wonder… “What and who am I defending by always having to be right?” Do you get the energy of that?

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When you can say, “I am wrong.” from a place of total allowance, no judgment can affect you. It’s the ultimate freedom.

I can feel you tensing up as I type. Stay with me here. This is really good stuff. I promise! Try saying, “You’re right, I am wrong” to someone you love during or after a “storm”. Seriously, try this. It really works. Say to the person, “You are right, I am wrong,” and after you say it three times they may soften with a response like “No, you are not wrong, you are just mistaken.”

Say “I am wrong.” with the awareness that you are wrong (in their eyes). Be sincere. It’s just about being willing to say you are wrong. You don’t have to actually make yourself wrong. Talk to what people can hear. What are they trying to prove? That they’re right. As soon as you say you’re wrong, they don’t have to make themselves right any more. Brilliant!

It may take some practice to be able to say it and be sincere. In my classes, I have my students say it 10 times aloud. Practice and feel the freedom it brings.

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Further, when you are ready to repair a relationship that has been damaged by your insistence on being right you can usethis tool: “I’m sorry, I was wrong. What can I do to make up for the damage I have done?” All will be forgiven in mere minutes. If there is something they require, be willing to deliver or say bye-bye to the relationship.

What they need to hear is that they are right and you’re wrong. So tell them what they need to hear. Are they going to hear anything else anyway? No. So you might as well tell them what they require. “You’re right, I’m wrong.” It really is one of the greatest freedoms.

Xo
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Calling all courageous ones! Tell us how this tool worked for you below. I’m sure a few of our readers are skeptical and could use a little encouragement!