Ever hear these famous words of wisdom? “You’ve got to sacrifice something in order for a relationship to work.” ”Who do you think you are?” ”You can’t have it all young lady/young man.” Really? Now that feels light, expansive and joyous, doesn’t it?
I wonder… How much have we attached honor, forgiveness and “do the right thing” to the standards of what this reality has defined as a working relationship? Wouldn’t that keep you creating the same limitations again and again?
Are you asking for a working relationship or would you rather have a relationship that works for you?
Ever notice how many people get into a relationship and begin to disappear? Their whole world begins revolving around ‘the relationship’ and making it work. How many of us live in deference to what we have already decided someone else requires of us? How many of us forget about intimacy with ourselves when we get into a relationship? We start to cut off pieces of ourselves; our likes and dislikes, what we would like to create, how we would like to create and who we would like to create with. In doing so, we begin to disappear.
If it’s not easy, it’s not you.
So what is true intimacy? True intimacy is the willingness to be intimate with you first and foremost. How about honor, trust, allowance, vulnerability, and gratitude with and for you? If you were truly willing to be that for you, would you be sacrificing you ever? Would it have to be dramatic, traumatic and difficult to be with someone else?
When you step into vulnerability with you, when you begin to trust you and trust that you have choice, when you give yourself the space of total allowance, you begin to become aware of what works for you, no matter what the choice… And what if you had gratitude for you just because you are willing to take the time to read this blog and ask some questions and if just for ten seconds, you allow yourself to be you. Undeniably, unforgivably you.
Here are a few questions to pull from your toolbox when you sense you are vanishing into any relationship:
– Who does this belong to?
– Who am I being in this relationship?
– What else can I create that would work for me?
Thanks for visiting and always remember, your contribution and who you be is key to creating something greater, so keep showing up in every relationship!