Ho-Ho-Holy Cow, More Family Time!

Happy Holidays! It’s time to be with family and friends! Or is it?

How many of us experience difficulties with our families around the holidays? Are you making yourself wrong for not having the kinds of made-up family relationships we see in the media and perpetuated by this reality?

A great question to ask here might be:

What invention are you using to create the disappointment and upset of the Holiday Season are you choosing?

(Everything that brings up, would you be willing to uncreate and destroy that now?)

For the most part, we come into this lifetime as beautiful, energetic beings wishing to make our parents happy. How many of them could receive that?

Not very many.

So at around two years of age, we begin to adapt to their points of view, about what it means to have a family, to be in a family and what family relationships look like.

How many of you spend your life going through one relationship after another with the idea that if you can make THIS person happy, then you finally won’t be a failure?

In the eternal search for that ideal family or partner, we often look for someone we can make happy thinking that will make us happy. Sooner or later that ends in separation, rejection, anticipation, and divorce.

Who are we divorcing? Us from ourselves as we move farther and farther away from the infinite loving, joy-filled beings we truly be.

Would you be willing to create more space in your world by not buying into anyone else’s world or else’s patterns of disharmony?


Everywhere you have always known what people wanted or desired and destroyed yourself for it, would you be willing to let that go now?

Would you be willing to uncreate and destroy that before it destroys you? (Please?)

What if this was not about being right or wrong but about honoring you?

Would you be willing to stop trying to make everything better by cutting off your awareness of what else is truly possible for you?

What if this holiday season you didn’t get caught up in anybody else’s needs wants or desires?

Instead, why not cultivate the allowance you can be for you? Tell family what they want to hear, in full appreciation of their efforts in raising you and see what you can create for you, with you.

You will never change them. You can always change you!

Question :

What patterns of harmony can you now choose and create that would allow you to be in perfect harmony with you this holiday season?

(Everything that brings up, would you be willing to let that go now?)

Joy and space are always yours! Remember that and choose it now in the holiday season and every day throughout the year!

Today’s Tweetable: What invention are you using to create the disappointment and upset of the Holiday Season are you choosing? Click here to tweet with @susanlazarhart

From the Right Relationship Team – Wishing you all the best in every way, every day… and a joyous holiday season!



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14 replies
  1. helen stubbs
    helen stubbs says:

    Thank you for your posts, so helpful to get through the holiday season and stay aware. It makes such a difference when someone else tells you – reminds you – what you already know. Have a fabulous New Year celebration. Warm wishes Helen

    • Susan Lazar Hart
      Susan Lazar Hart says:

      Thank you so much Helen
      So grateful for your kind words and thoughts. I always love to remind my self- we are not alone- ever- how does it get any better than that? All the best for the New Year

  2. Sudhari
    Sudhari says:

    Hey Susan, this article made me put up a wall between myself and my family. I found the questions sent me into an emotionally paralyzed state.. what do you suggest in terms of questions to clear all this crap?

  3. Timothy
    Timothy says:

    I find I’m constantly running into conflict with my in-laws (monster-in-laws) and I just can’t stop being passive aggressive. What do I do?

    • Susan Lazar Hart
      Susan Lazar Hart says:

      This is a great one- I have been playing with a new tool
      When I go into contraction, especially with certain relatives- I ask myself quietly- Whose confinement are you living in because somewhere and somehow we choose ( resist and react, defend, pick any of them) to confine ourselves into someone else’s reality where we twist and turn in their small reality
      What have you made so vital about managing conflict that keeps you confined in someone else’s reality (passive aggressive)? And you could ask whose passive aggressive behavior are you mimicking

  4. Meghan
    Meghan says:

    I find the Holidays put me in a lazy funk. I try to excercise but have no energy and I even try to eat healthy, but al my body wants to do is sleep…. what is that..


    • Susan Lazar Hart
      Susan Lazar Hart says:

      Hello Meghan
      Thanks for your question
      You could ask
      Who does that belong to, mine , something else, some one else?
      Body, what do you require? Eating healthy is a judgment- sorry
      Maybe your body is requiring sleep, maybe there is a whole lot of anticonscousness going on that you are buying into that is exhausting you and your body
      I wonder……….let me know!

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