New Beginnings in Relationship: I’m Starting with The Man in the Mirror

Many of my clients desire to create relationships in their lives. Especially with Valentine’s Day right around the corner, many people feel pressure in this regard. It seems that everywhere we look, someone is in love, someone is in partnership. It can seem painful, especially if a person desires a relationship but doesn’t know where to where to begin. This reality offers up such gems as books that tell you how to be ‘date-able’, lists of things to do or NOT to do in order to capture a mate, online dating services, match-making services, social media sites and even speed-dating.

Can you see how all of these things removes your ability to choose for yourself? It’s as if this reality is saying, “You don’t know what’s best for you. We’ll tell you.”

No one knows more about you than you do! I encourage my clients to begin by creating a relationship with themselves! How can you sense what you’d like to create in relationship if you don’t have intimacy with yourself first?

Intimacy has to do with honor, trust, gratitude, vulnerability and allowance.

If you are willing to create a relationship with yourself, you have to be willing to be honest with yourself and in honesty there is honor. It’s a willingness to honor yourself with what actually works for you, not for somebody else.

girl-looking-in-mirrorIt’s creating yourself for you, not for somebody else. It’s creating your life for you, moment by moment, not for somebody else!

Intimacy with oneself is the willingness to trust you with no judgment. As children, we are often taught to judge ourselves out of existence.

Honoring the self first, knowing ourselves intimately as the ever-changing energies that we are, is the key to not becoming lost in the desire for relationship. It is the way in which we gain a deep and
clear knowing of who we truly be, and a resonant honoring of that being.

Once we learn to continually cultivate this knowing of ourselves, we can create the relationships we desire. These will be relationships in which we do not allow any part of our being-ness to be cut off, sacrificed, or given away in deference to the relationship, or the other person in it.

A great tool to begin intimacy with oneself: Write down one thing you are looking for in a partner.
Now ask yourself, “Am I willing to be this for me?”

You must be the vibration of what you are asking for. If not, you will not attract someone who has the characteristics you desire!

Begin by creating intimacy with yourself, and you will then be ready to choose a partner who can contribute to the beautiful being you truly be!

For even more on creating you in relationship, join Right Relationship for You™ for a special week of Valentine’s Day events!

Be our ValentineBe our Valentine, and let’s be loving to you together!

In the comments below, I’d love to hear from you.

Let’s get a discussion going on creating the relationships you desire: Tell me the one thing you’re looking for in a partner and if you’re willing to be it for you.

You might be chosen to receive a FREE 15-minute personal consultation!

Thank you as always for visiting. I’m so grateful you’re choosing more of you.


18 replies
  1. Connor
    Connor says:

    I would like them to be present, and I haven’t been willing to be as present with me as I could be… that changes now.

    • SusanLazarHart
      SusanLazarHart says:

      Good for you for making the demand- no matter what it looks like this has got to change- I use that one everyday with what ever I have bought onto that is stopping me. Truth- could an infinite being ever be stopped?

  2. Grace
    Grace says:

    A partner who allows me to be all of me…the good, the bad, and the ugly with no judgment, but is in space of allowance, honor, trust, vulnerability of who I be….yes, yes, yes, I am willing and choosing to be this for me!

    • SusanLazarHart
      SusanLazarHart says:

      Yay. Can we tweak that a bit please? How about a partner who is in allowance of not a partner who allows me to be all of me- get a sense of the different energies of that- big difference!

  3. Nora
    Nora says:

    Your work has been special to me because all that’s out there about relationship and love is fairytales and illusions. I was looking for the grand fairytale, and prince charming. And now, since that didn’t work, i’ve tried some of the tools you give and chosen different with men. I found that i’m looking for a kind, fun, adventurous and generative person who adds to my life, rather than completes me with his happy ending and charming ways. A nurturing, non-judgmental partner. And i’m in the question about it. I’m asking each day to be the energy of adventure and kindness for me. That’s a totally new way of functioning in relationship that’s really light.. And truly what else is possible?

  4. Theresa
    Theresa says:

    Wow what would it take to see the person on the mirror for who she truly be with out identifying her as a mom who may have failed or a wife who in her own eyes doesn’t measure up or a daughter struggling to fit in to the family dynamics! What would it take to blow all that up to reveal a beautiful being that she truly be? And everything that brings up…..POC and pod! Great blog thank you!

    • SusanLazarHart
      SusanLazarHart says:

      You are so welcome
      Would you be willing to play with this?
      Go look in the mirror right now. Would you be willing to pod and poc all the entities in the mirror form any lifetime past present and future?
      Would you be willing to destroy and uncreate all the rejections, separations and projections you have bought from any mirrors in any life time?
      Are you aware that someone made that mirror and had a point of view when they made it?
      Are you buying any of that? Pod and POC
      Are you aware that you only see who you truly be, for the first ten seconds? All the rest are judgments and conclusions that you bring back into the mirror are looking to see if they are still there- good and bad.
      SO everything that all brings up, would you be willing to uncreate and destroy that please? Pod and poc,
      all demons return to from wence you came never to return to me, this mirror or this reality again
      Now-go get your Bars run!

  5. Maria
    Maria says:

    My dear Susan,
    I started Access a year ago and went to a 2 hr money taster you gave in Orlando. Did not have much money then so I would listen to all your free videos. I was looking for my partner to be respectful towards me. I ended up being aware of how abusive he was and of course how I could respect and love myself….Which I did with all the clearings you gave me. I am now living in my own apartment with my daughter, writing a book, 2 others ready to be published and respecting myself. How does it get any better than that?!
    Thank you Susan!

    • SusanLazarHart
      SusanLazarHart says:

      What if there was no such thing as try- what I have become aware of when we use the word try we fool ourselves- so truth- How much are you willing to acknowledge you – receive you- be you
      Would you be willing to step into that please? Different energy from trying?

  6. Roxanne
    Roxanne says:

    What I am looking for in a relationship is a spiritually alive person. Who cares who love growing using the Bible. Who is functional productive in there 70’s. Loves sharing in a deeply intimatetate caring loving alive spontanious free non judgemental broad perspective. One who can allow for differences n room to playpay

    • SusanLazarHart
      SusanLazarHart says:

      What energy space and consciousness can my body and I be to be the invitation of a functionally productive, caring, spontaneous, non judgemental and nurturing being and body just for me?

  7. Nuthan Shankarappa
    Nuthan Shankarappa says:

    To see me as the person who can be sweet and caring, strong and demanding, the one who just chooses what is expansive and light to my heart…irrespective of what others say!

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