Out of Control and Loving it!

18492839It’s summertime in Canada. It’s that time of year when most of us linger in the warmth of a late night stroll or just “sit out the back” and watch as the evening sky lights up for all to see. There are books to be read and long lazy bike rides – wouldn’t it be great if we could make the summer stay for as long as we’d like? 

We can see fall right around the corner and we’d love to be able to control the seasons. In how many other areas of our lives are we trying to control things? How about in our relationships?

We tend to spend a lot of our time sitting in judgment, trying to figure out how to control ourselves so we can get along in our relationships. Did you know Control is how we create the places where we have no choice?

You have to dissipate a huge amount of being in order to control your life. In order to create something staying the same, you would have to control every outcome – you have now entered the no choice zone.

When you limit choice, you limit all future possibilities that don’t match what you have already decided you need in order to control your life, your relationship or someone else’s.

When we are “out” of control, we are willing to sit outside of the normal box of expectation and the normal points of reference. Being out of control is not being uncontrolled and it’s not being drunk and disorderly. It’s not letting the controls of other people’s points of view, other people’s realities, judgments and decisions be the controlling factor in our lives. 39947075

Being out of control is about letting go of anywhere you have given away parts of your life to others and have made them more powerful than you.  To be out of control is to no longer be the effect of anyone else’ wants or desires. It is to be out of the “power over” aspect of control.

Once you are willing to be ‘out of control’, you’re willing to be out of the straight jacket you have created as your relationship and you won’t look to past experience as the source of what you will create in the future.  You start to live in the moment. You are now in true choice. 

What if choice was just for ten seconds?

Instead of trying to come up with answers based on your limited points of view, you empower the universe to gift you with awareness.

Your tool to take you out of control: Ask, “What would it be like to be out of control, out of force, out of definition, out of limitation, and out of judgment today?

If you are “out of control” nothing and no one stops you and you don’t need to stop or limit anyone else. Being out of control is being totally aware and you don’t try to control the way things are generated. Not being totally aware means you always try to control what occurs, to control who or what comes into your life and who or what goes out.

Lady-Pointing-To-You-Small-Control that is generative is done with gratitude and allowance. There is no force and no judgment required.

Control done from judgment uses force and superiority to stop others.  This includes you! Just as the seasons change and create beauty and growth throughout the year, being out of control, out of judgment, without force or superiority, allows us to create growth and beauty in our lives!






13 replies
  1. Samantha
    Samantha says:

    Hooray for RRFY! Defying relationship ideals in a single bound! Swoop swoop you guys are my heroes!!

  2. Tabitha
    Tabitha says:

    RRFY has been BLOWING UP on my social media/universe lately! It seems like you guys are just all over the world/the internet making a huge splash with everybody. I’ve actually heard so many people talking about you guys so I thought I’d check out this blog to see what all of the fuss was about! Wowwowowowowow was I surprised! You have blown me out of the water (seeing how I thought this was a dating site) and I quickly realized this is something that has something for everybody! I will definitely be in the New Beginning’s class when you come Mooloolaba!

  3. Vallerie
    Vallerie says:

    What would it take for Right Relationship for You to come to the UK? This is exactly what I’ve been asking for!!

    • Susan Lazar Hart
      Susan Lazar Hart says:

      I would love to come to the UK- maybe in the fall of 2015? I am booking in through 2015 already with Right Relationship for You in Australia in December in 2014 and in Croatia in May 2015- wow thank you everyone.

  4. Sudhari Amal
    Sudhari Amal says:

    LOVE THIS: “What would it be like to be out of control, out of force, out of definition, out of limitation, and out of judgment today?

    Thank you for this joyous, juicy question that shifted my entire universe..

  5. theresa
    theresa says:

    Thank you for this refreshing POV of being “out of control”.. never really thought of being out of control as a good thing. Hmm, who would have thunk it!


    • Susan Lazar Hart
      Susan Lazar Hart says:

      The willingness to be out of control really opens up so much more in receiving. Its as if the universe is just waiting to gift us with everything we have been asking for if we would only be willing to step out of our own way- Control freaks of the universe; there is another way!!!!!

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