Stress and Finances – Who does that belong to?

I’m loving your feedback on our blogs, keep it coming! Here’s our latest in response to your awesome request:

RRFY, love the blog! It’s one of my favorite blogs to follow! Could you write a blog next on relationships with money and finances? I’ve been having awful money stress and I feel like I’m taking on the same relationship my parents had… How can I get rid of their stress and expectations?

Great questions and great awareness. Thank you for your questions.

How many of us have taken on our parents financial reality and stress with money?

Let’s review the three tools we have learned with this one.

Tool # 1 – Is this light or heavy? 

Taking on your parents reality with money…

Is this light or heavy for you?


If it’s light it feels right. Light is the vibration of possibilities; it is who and what we are  asking to be. That sense of lightness is the awareness and the vibration that creates more for you and of you. I call it living with abundance, living with true choice.


couple calculating bills

If something is heavy you know it. It could be a contraction in your body, definitely a contraction in your universe. Notice if something is heavy, It doesn’t change no matter what you do, how much you try to fix it- sometimes the “feeling” gets even heavier the more you try to make it light. The more you try to make it right the more you are buying into the lie that there is something here that is yours. (Hint: It’s never yours.)

How to move from heavy to light? Ask a question

So how many of you are buying into a reality based on money and business being stressful?

What if it was fun? What if you were willing to play with money, to ask money to play with you?

What if you actually acknowledged all that you have created? Would more show up or less?

What if your money and business were just waiting there on the sidelines for you to ask them a question?

How to move from heavy to light? Ask a question.

Tool #2 – Who does that belong to? 

When my Dad was dying at 101 I asked him if he had lived his life for everyone else. He nodded yes. In reply I lethim know it was okay- now was his time to choose for himself. He died in his sleep 10 hours later.

Here was a successful man who had made his financial fortune on his own designing lamps, running a factory, traveling the lamp shows, touring the world for ideas, and providing for his family with abundance in every area. And yet I was aware he was always looking for more- what he created was never enough- he always thought he could have done better. He always believed he was never fully appreciated.

It didn’t occur to me till after he died that I had taken on much of that as mine. The not being enough, the stress

let-go-and-move-onabout business, the stress that my business was never generating enough- not mine, never was.

How much was I in relationship with my father’s point of view about scarcity and success? Talk about an AHA moment. Who does that belong to?

How many of us were brought up with sayings like:

– You have to work hard for what you get.

– Money doesn’t grow on trees.

– Be grateful for what you get.

– Penny wise and pound-foolish.

This is where we use Tool #1 – Is this light or heavy?


Tool #2 – Who does that belong to? Mine? Someone else’s? Something else’s?

If it is light it is yours. Generally when it is yours there is a palpable vibration to what is possible for your future.

If it’s heavy it is definitely not yours, most probably there is a density there, something limiting you, often anchoring you to this reality.


Whose reality are you buying into? Is that yours? Someone else’s? Something else’s?

Let it go, chances are it was never was yours to begin with.

How many of you have bought a point of view from your parents or peers about business, finances or money that is keeping you from creating more- let it go- it’s not yours, never was.

So what questions can you ask?

Tool #3 – Ask a question. 

When we ask a question we change the energy on everything we have bought as a limitation. When we live in the question we let the universe know we are ready, able and eager to create something greater than is showing up.

Questions to ask yourself:

– Would I be willing to out create my parents?

– Would I be willing to let go of every point of view I have taken on in any lifetime that what I have in my bank account is proof of what I am capable of creating?

– What would I have to let go of to out create myself today?

Would you be willing? I wonder…

Just like the awareness I had with my Dad, that I had taken on almost every point of view he had about money, I was eager and relieved to know it wasn’t mine and I let it go- that fast, that easy.


What illusion have you created about stress and money that if you let it go would give you everything you have been

asking for?

Let me know what comes up for you in the comments section.

I always love hearing from you!





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15 replies
  1. Trivedi Effect
    Trivedi Effect says:

    When we are feeling the effects of stress, we need to feel that our home is a safe haven where we can find relief and comfort. A happy relationship can make all the difference during challenging times. Sadly, more and more couples are experiencing the divisive influence of outside stress in their relationship with their mate.

    Don’t play the blame game: The blame game never works out well. It only creates a more hostile relationship. If you start blaming your partner, he/she might become defensive, and this creates the perfect grounds for a yelling match. As we talked about above, go to your partner in a moment of calm.

    Practically speaking: when you find yourself in a state of fear, stop, take a few deep breaths, feel your feet on the ground, remind yourself of whatever you have to be grateful for.

    Stress can make you less social. When you’re overwhelmed, do you feel like going out? Doubtful. Your partner may want to hit the town, but you’re exhausted. He or she wants a weekend getaway, but you can’t bear the hassle of making plans. Granted, relaxation and downtime are important, but too much of it can be a drag on your relationship.

  2. Thalia
    Thalia says:

    You are a relationship rockstar!! How did the universe get so lucky to have such a potent and wisdom-filled layday?

  3. Nevila
    Nevila says:

    PHEW! You blew me out of the water with this one! Gratitude for improving my relationship with money and finances. It became aware to me that I was choosing to live in scarcity, because of my fear of creation. Gratitude, Susan!

    • Susan Lazar Hart
      Susan Lazar Hart says:

      Thank you so much Nevila,
      How many of us would rather be content knowing we are failing ( I told you so!) rather than put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward , no matter what it looks like, no matter what it takes.
      Every step forward is another seed planted .

  4. Sudhari Amal
    Sudhari Amal says:

    Loving the awareness of how my parent’s view has trickled into how I view money! That is a POV I didn’t even think of!


    • Susan Lazar Hart
      Susan Lazar Hart says:

      I know what you mean.I have often seen myself review what isn’t working with my business/money flows rather than stepping into question- who does that belong to?
      What else can I add to my life that could change this?
      What would be fun?
      What other viable streams of revenue are here for me ?

  5. Alita
    Alita says:

    Loving this!! Thank you so much for listening to my request for this blog topic! This is EXACTLY what I needed xoxoxox

  6. Natalie
    Natalie says:

    Thank you so much for this, I thought I had a totally different reality financially than my mother and I realized there are so many ways I was still falling into it and living in scarcity.

    • Susan Lazar Hart
      Susan Lazar Hart says:

      It is amazing what we use as “stuckpoints” that keep us from generating and creating way beyond the stability or instability we were all brought up with.
      I love asking the question
      Universe – what can i do or be to change this (relationship, money flows, point of view – you fill in the blank)
      I ask it everyday

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