Summer Vacation; Taking a Break from Relationship

Woman jumping on sandI just got home from a long weekend with my cousins in Connecticut. There’s something magical about taking a vacation. We get a break from the things we always do and get to do something totally different.

How many of us continue doing relationship because we think it’s something we must do/be/have all the time or else something is wrong with us?

How many people would rather have a bad relationship than no relationship at all? How many people do you know who have great relationships? How many people do you know who have rotten relationships but won’t leave them?

What if it’s all just a choice?

If you’re in a relationship, here’s a fun tool to play with:

Destroy and uncreate your relationship every day.

That’s what I do with Ricky. It’s just another way to let go of any expectations, judgments and conclusions I have about who we were, are or will be. It’s like going on a vacation; it frees me to be and do something different every day. And Ricky, too!

If you’re not in a relationship, here are some questions to consider:

What if not being in relationship was the biggest gift you could give yourself?

How might that be a contribution to your life and your being?

If you’re in a relationship and wondering what else can show up, start here:

What if letting go of a relationship that really isn’t working for you could be the vacation you need to create the kind of beach chairsintimacy with YOU that you truly desire?

And what if letting go of a relationship doesn’t mean “breaking up” or physically leaving?

Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or looking to get into or out of one, remember to take lots of vacations. How? It’s easy – uncreate and destroy your relationship to what ever or whoever it is that is bothering you. There’s magic in those areas and an invitation to create something brand new just for you!

Don’t forget to leave a comment below and let us know how these tools helped you! We love hearing from you 🙂

Looking forward to playing with you.

22 replies
  1. Samantha
    Samantha says:

    Do the same tools apply when it comes to family relationships? Can I uncreate and destroy my mother in law (hehe)?

  2. Jasmine Szeto
    Jasmine Szeto says:

    RRFY, love the blog! It’s one of my favorite blogs to follow! Could you write a blog next on relationships with money and finances? I’ve been having awful money stress and I feel like I’m taking on the same relationship my parents had..
    How can I get rid of their stress and expectations?

    • Susan Lazar Hart
      Susan Lazar Hart says:

      Hi Jasmine
      Thank you -relationships with money and finances- will get it out by August- thanks for being so intuitive!!
      as for
      taking on the same relationship my parents had..How can I get rid of their stress and expectations?
      Here is a question you can ask over and over
      What creation am I using to invoke and perpetrate the bio mimetic mimicry of my parents reality and my parents insanity, pain and pathway with relationshps
      Its about everywhere we mimic someone else s reality to such a degree it feels like ours! And ay what age did you begin the mimicry? Right????
      Trust me on this one
      every time you run it and have an awareness – just release it and ask again- you will be amazed at what comes up and how easy it s to let it go!!

  3. Tyron
    Tyron says:

    What do you mean by uncreating a destroying your relationship everyday? I’m not familiar with the Access Consciousness tools..

    • Susan Lazar Hart
      Susan Lazar Hart says:

      Great question Tyron,
      Here is a description I took from the book Magic. You are it. Be it by Dain Heer and Gary Douglas- the co creators of Access Consciousness

      “You identify yourself as somebody else’s something for the majority of your life, but seldom do you get to identify yourself as you. How much of you have you eliminated from your life in order to be someone else’s something.
      Most of us don’t realize that we have no idea of who we really are.”
      Especially in relationships-“WE get caught up in certain identities, certain ways of being, certain ideas of whom we are supposed to be and that’s it for the rest of our lives. We don’t realize that the I we think we are supposed to be is a creation.”

      What if you destroyed that I or we as in this is who we are as a couple, mother father, sister brother, child, boss, every night befoire you went to sleep?

      “When you start destroying things you are refusing to function from the same place you were the day before. Its one of the easiest and most effective ways to live in the question.
      What would I chose if I had no past?
      if you decide that you don’t have to function from whom or what you decided you were, you get to uncreate and destroy everything you made significant about the past, everything you made real, everything you made solid and simply ask yourself
      What would i like today? What would be really cool to show up?”

      “At the end of the day, you can say, Everything I was today I now uncreate and destroy. IN the morning when you wake up, you get to ask. Okay who am I today and what grand and glorious adventure am I going to have?
      When you do this , you turn your life and your relationship into an adventure. The humdrum world goes away when you uncreate everything and every one every night and in the morning ask Okay who am i today and what grand and glorious adventure am i going to have? You are creating you-brand new.

      Remember to destroy everything at the end of the great days as well as at the end of the crappy days.
      Realize great and crappy are judgements- that’s a story for another time- but regardless of what the day was for you, destroy it. When you destroy you at the end of a great day, tomorrow has a possibility of being even greater.”

  4. Snjezana
    Snjezana says:

    Hey RRFY
    I have this really bad habit of holding onto grudges in my relationship. For some reason I just can’t seem to let it go and I was wondering if you had any suggestions or excercises that could help me move on from hurtful situations.

    • Susan Lazar Hart
      Susan Lazar Hart says:

      Thank you so much for your question
      your point of view creates your reality, your reality does not create your point of view.

      Who in your family held onto a grudge? Who did you learn that from, at what age and would you be willing to let it go?

      How much do we use a grudge as a distraction from creating something greater?
      How much do we use holding onto a grudge as validation for the rightness of out point of view?

      Think of the word “holding”- is there any space for possibilities?
      Feel the energy required to hold something so tight that nothing else can show up- that is the energy of holding a grudge- would you be willing to release that contraction so something greater can show up?

      If you hold onto a grudge in any relationship, you don’t have to create anything greater- would that impact your body, your business, your money flows, and any further possibilities?

      What have you made so vital about the truth of limitation and grudges that you have created by holding onto “hurt”

      Here is a hint… “hurt ” isn’t real- its what we create to keep us impotent- good distraction, right?

  5. Kevin
    Kevin says:

    Gratitude for this, Susan. I’ve been having issues with my wife recently and I’ve been “carrying it over” from the night before. How magical are you for brining up the awesome point of “uncreating and destroying” every night.

    I’m going to try it tonight!!


  6. Trish
    Trish says:

    Thank you SO MUCH, Susan for your refreshing and always enchanting POV. You really know how to change the standard/norm of relationships and create a totally different reality.

    Applause to you for being a trendsetter of relationships. Adore you!


  7. Tabitha
    Tabitha says:

    You’ve made some good points there. I’ve always thought of “taking a break” as a negative thing.. but you’ve brought up something totally different for me! I checked on the net for more info about “taking a break” in a relationship and found most individuals will go along with it as a negative view.

    What are your thoughts for sharing this info with people?

    • Susan Lazar Hart
      Susan Lazar Hart says:

      Thanks Tabitha
      I would love to share this info with more people
      If you have any ideas please let me know

      For me taking a break could be going for a walk in the forest- changing my perspective by being willing to be present with the universe and all that that is– more often than not I wake with the sunrise and walk, clearing out everything that isn’t mine.
      The more I step into being who I truly be , the more I let go of what isn’t working for me, the more possibilities there are for me in every relationship, and that first and primary relationship is the one with me. It doesn’t mean that anything is wrong or right or has to be wrong or right- its just the space that I require and those who know me, know that and theer is total allowance for whatever shows up
      That is true communion with others and oneself.

  8. eileen
    eileen says:

    for me i think ill be taking a Vacation from finding a relationship that is going to work for me, and have fun with who ever is there! Whether or not it will turn out to be my idea of a great relationship! FUN FUN FUN

  9. Jean
    Jean says:

    I am confused by your statement destroy and… My relationship. If it is bad, shouldn ‘t we leave? And if we need some me time, maybe we would be as lucky as you to go on a long weekend without our spouse. But what is to be destroyed if you are staying in a relationship?

    • Susan Lazar Hart
      Susan Lazar Hart says:

      Great question Jean!
      Destroy and uncreate is about letting go of everything, all the good , all the bad no matter who or what it is, so that something greater shows up
      If you are in a relationship that isn’t working you want to destroy and uncreate it so something greater will show up for both of you no matter who you choose to be with.
      How many people drag their old stuff into a new relationship and wonder why the new one turns out like the old one? Destroy and uncreate , destroys and uncreates every lifetime you have had a relationship or a point of view re the person you are in relationship with in the present. Clear it now and you let go for every lifetime, past present and future so something greater can show up.

      I destroy and uncreate my relationship with Ricky every night so every morning I can say “Hi- Who am I today, Who are you today? And what great, grand and glorious adventure are we going to create today?”
      Let me know if this assists you

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